Finding Magic in the Mundane

Since getting my appointment for testosterone, I’ve been waiting for the second thoughts to come in and stop me. To come in and tell me, “No, this isn’t what you really want, this is just a weird phase.”

But… nothing so far. If anything I’ve had timing issues with my labs and the 2 week appointment and I found myself becoming more upset at the thought that I have to push my dates back to start. Make of that what you will.

As I wait, I had to reconcile why I want to go on T. Without getting into it too explicitly, I just- I think it’s the thing missing from my mind.

With this, though, I learned that I need to leave my home. My family, as loving as they are, won’t be accepting. Me? A lesbian? May be too much for them alone. But my being whatever this is? Being on T? I think they would lose it. lol

There’s also the fact that I’m just not happy in Los Angeles. I need to leave. Maybe not forever, but I need to go and embark on this journey and find myself.