Finding Magic in the Mundane

An intro of sorts.

Well.

To be honest I feel like I’m lost. For the longest time I thought I was a cis, bi Salvi woman.

Now I’m grappling with a new revelation that I might be a lesbian. And what that means.

I grieved. I grieved my bisexuality. Even when nothing much changed other than a label. I’m still processing what exactly I’m grieving because I was struggling- I did not want to let go of the bisexual label.

But let go I must.

With this news, I come to realize something else:

I want to go on testosterone.

Before I go any further. I am not a man. I am not trans. I’m just a little silly girl with a different image of what I am supposed to look like in my head. I don’t want to go full masc, I just want to be a little more androgynous.

But damn. Going back to the closet feels tight. Too closed. I need to leave. I need to move. I want to live my life as my true self.

That’s where this guy comes in. I just… I don’t know. I want someone to read this and tell me I’m okay, I’m fine, and that I’m not alone. That’s all.